| Author |
Message |
D.J.'s Mom
Member
Username: Cornea_mom
Post Number: 1
Registered: 12-2011
| | Posted on Thursday, December 29, 2011 - 06:21 pm: | 
|
I am wondering if I might find the recipients of my sons' cornea. D.J. was an organ donor, but only his cornea could be harvested after he was killed by a drunk driver in 2003. I am not seeking sympathy, nor thanks. I am just interested in finding out if the cornea made any difference in the lives of the recipients. The eyebank has been less that helpful, never acknowledging if my letters to the recipients were sent/accepted/rejected. This is "small beans" compared to other posts, but important to me. |
Rita
Forum Leader
Username: Rita
Post Number: 827
Registered: 06-2003
| | Posted on Friday, December 30, 2011 - 04:52 pm: |
|
Hi D.J.'s Mom, I do not have an answer for you, but I am sure others here can point you in a good direction. I just wanted to say that I am a recipient of a kidney through someone kind like you that offered their loved ones kidney to me and that that gift has made a huge difference in my life. So although you have not found your recipient of your son's gift know that you have touched someone's life in such a beautiful way. Not only the person who receives the transplant but those around them--family, friends, coworkers......... it is like placing love in the world, you never know who's lives you have changed with that gift. Thank you so much for making the love spread. I hope with all my heart that you find the person who received your gift of love. Happy New Year, wishing you the best.
|
Crispy
Member
Username: Crispy
Post Number: 17
Registered: 11-2011
| | Posted on Saturday, December 31, 2011 - 03:56 pm: |
|
I read an article in my local newspaper today about local donors and recipients that have donated roses to the Donate Life float that will be in the Rose Parade on Monday.
One of the persons in the article mentioned that she will be at work during the parade but only thanks to the cornea transplant she received from a generous donor, therefore, she is thankful to be able to work.
Please know that even if you do not find who you are looking for your son's gift did make a difference!
(((hugs))) |
Dave S
Member
Username: Rodeonm
Post Number: 28
Registered: 07-2011
| | Posted on Sunday, January 01, 2012 - 01:12 am: |
|
D.J.'s Mom.
I can only offer my experience.
I live in Arizona and it has been awhile since I have had to deal with this issue. My first experience (as a kidney transplant recipient) was positive but it did take time. I wrote a letter to my donor's family immediately subsequent to my transplant in August of 1987. It was not until fall of 1989 that I received a response. That doesn't mean that the Donor Network of Arizona (DNAZ) held my letter that long. It means that for some reason the donor family either did not wish to respond or did not wish to respond promptly. As you well know, losing a child is the absolute worst thing that can happen to a parent. Sometimes this results in putting things off for a while. Ultimately this is what happened to my donor family. It was a blessing to me that they responded.
My second experience, as an organ donor dad, was less successful. I did write a letter to the DNAZ several months after my daughter died. The recipient families have yet to respond (and probably never will since it was nearly 20 years ago). After submitting a request to the donor network it must abide by a strict set of confidentiality rules. These are designed to protect the donor as well as the recipient families. There are many reasons why people don't respond. I have pondered this question often in the intervening years and have driven myself crazy at times. I realize now that it simply wasn't meant to be, however, I know that it was the right thing to do and I am at peace.
The National Kidney Foundation (www.kidney.org) publishes a newsletter called, "For those who give and grieve." You may find it useful to read. Also the United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS) may be able to point you in a better direction to finding the recipient family.
I pray that your grief will not last as long as mine and that you will recover from the tragedy that has happened to you and your family. God Bless. Dave
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were. - Dwight D. Eisenhower
Cadaveric Kidney Transplant (08/87)
Hepatitis C (08/87) from kidney tx
Organ Donor dad {(Virginia, 15) 02/93}
|
|
LadyDi
Forum Leader
Username: Ladydi
Post Number: 2742
Registered: 03-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, January 01, 2012 - 07:48 am: |
|
You might try your local Gift of Life organization. They gave a presentation at our local transplant support group and part of their mission is assisting recipients in writing letters to their donor family. They may be better able to help you than the eye bank- at least it is a different avenue.
Thank you to your family for giving the gift of sight to another and so sorry for your loss.
|
D.J.'s Mom
Member
Username: Cornea_mom
Post Number: 2
Registered: 12-2011
| | Posted on Saturday, January 14, 2012 - 04:58 am: |
|
It has been awhile since I posted - was not sure that I wanted to check this site and find out no one had responded. Now, I wish I had checked back sooner. A friend who used to be a transplant coordinator told me that recipients frequently do not contact donor families because the recipient feels guilty that someone had to die in order for their transplant to be possible. They do NOT need to feel guilty. There are days when knowing that someone might have a better life because they have a cornea of D.J.'s keeps me going. Dave, the grief never stops, though we learn to manage it most of the time. They are our children and our love for them never ceases. "For Those Who Give and Grieve" is fantastic - not sure some days what I would do without that publication. I will see what happens through the UNOS. Thank you for suggesting them and know there are others who share your pain. Thank you to all who posted - I guess I needed to hear what you had to say and it DID make a difference. As a donor Mom, I never hesitate to encourage people to CONSIDER BECOMING AN ORGAN DONOR. Rita, D.J.'s forte was to place love in the world. Thank you for reminding me. |
Holly
Member
Username: Holly
Post Number: 534
Registered: 09-2007
| | Posted on Saturday, January 14, 2012 - 08:41 am: |
|
DJ's Mom.
Rather than UNOS I would try your areas procurement center. I'm pretty sure if you go to Donatelife.net it will bring up a map of all the states. Choose where you live and it will give you your areas procurement center. may find a way to send letters that way. But even if you never find out, know DJ definetly made a difference. He is someones Hero. They say when recipients write letters there is only a 15% chance they will hear back from the donor family.I have fortunately heard from my donor Renea's family, but many of my friends that have been tranplanted have written several times with no response. It all depends.
Good Luck and God Bless
Holly Mulkerin
Medina Ohio
Heart transplant 1/28/09 I have a Happy Heart
Be kind. Remember that everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Harry Thompson
|
|
D.J.'s Mom
Member
Username: Cornea_mom
Post Number: 3
Registered: 12-2011
| | Posted on Friday, January 27, 2012 - 02:56 pm: |
|
I have sent an email to the eye bank contact person to ask if the recipients were given the option of receiving correspondence from me years ago. Not sure why this matters so much after so many years, but it definitely does. Thank you for your encouragement and information/suggestions. Bless each and every one of you!! |
