| Author |
Message |
Rebecca from Michigan
Member
Username: Rebecca734
Post Number: 17
Registered: 01-2008
| | Posted on Monday, June 27, 2011 - 12:08 pm: | 
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My brother and I just had our 3rd anniversary for the kidney donation. He has had so many medical issues and still is very angry. I think he has had about 20 hospitalizations and at least 3 major surgeries after with dozens of cysto with stents to address the ureter blockage. He finally was sent to Cleveland clinic from the Carolina Medical Center and it resolved the ureter problem. Then he developed an abdominal abcess and was treated with IV antibiotics with possible removal of hernia mesh if it flares again.
But, It was a sad day when the 2nd year in a row he did not acknowledge the date.
He had a stroke with one of the surgical procedures last year to open the ureter and he has not resolved his anger issues and refuses to talk to his family.
It is very sad and it has taken me a year to get over my grief but the anniversary day always makes me remember that he did get a special gift. The kidney is still functioning and hopefully he can come to peace with his life and body.
I still am glad that I donated. I just wish the outcome would have been better and the strain on the family easier.
Keep positive about donation! I am.
Becky |
sonia
Member
Username: Soniadonor
Post Number: 49
Registered: 03-2009
| | Posted on Monday, June 27, 2011 - 12:33 pm: |
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Hey Becky,
Glad to hear that you can keep your spirits up. Sounds like a really rough situation. Did you post a year ago about him?....your story sounds familiar, I think I remember that.
If I had 20+ hospitalizations and 3+ surgeries, I guess I can't say for sure what my attitude would be either. At least he has a positive person like you around. Even if he pushes you away, just keep checking in with him from time to time. Show your love - that is all you can do. The rest is on him to make his own decisions. At least you will always know that you are doing what you can and you are honest with your own feelings.
I hope his health improves along with his attitude towards family, friends, and life.
Thanks for sharing,
Sonia
Non-direct kidney donor, Oct 2009
Minneapolis, MN, USA
"We exist temporarily through what we take but, we live forever through what we give." Douglas M. Lawson |
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Rebecca from Michigan
Member
Username: Rebecca734
Post Number: 18
Registered: 01-2008
| | Posted on Monday, June 27, 2011 - 02:21 pm: |
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Sonia,
Good memory! I haven't posted in a year and you remembered. You get a star!
He currently has shingles, which I heard through my sister. I am hoping if he can stay healthy for a few months his psyche will heal and you will improve with attitude and his morale!
Becky |
sonia
Member
Username: Soniadonor
Post Number: 50
Registered: 03-2009
| | Posted on Monday, June 27, 2011 - 03:26 pm: |
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Wow, I normally don't have a good memory LOL!
Getting healthy for a few months in the summer is a good time to boost morale. Good health, good weather, fun to be outside...hey that makes me happy!
When you posted a year ago, I was just 7-8 months post my surgery so I was reading a lot of donor stories and posting more often too. Your story struck me because it was unique- many people who post will express their happy endings. Your story seems to be a mix of highs and lows.
I am so glad you've had the courage to share with us because I know there are more people out there with similar situations. Over time, I hope they find this site and can find comfort in knowing they are not alone.
Non-direct kidney donor, Oct 2009
Minneapolis, MN, USA
"We exist temporarily through what we take but, we live forever through what we give." Douglas M. Lawson |
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Heather
Forum Leader
Username: Heather
Post Number: 3284
Registered: 05-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2011 - 08:58 pm: |
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Hi Becky!! Wow! Long time! I need to email you and catch you up on my end. Lots has happened.
I am so sorry that your brother is still feeling the same and acting the same. I don't understand him blaming you somehow..when you were only helping save his life. I do understand his frustration with all the hosp. and surgeries. But in no way are you to blame. You did a great thing!! and HAPPY LATE ANNIVERSARY. I wish I could remember it...and acknowledge it for you!!
Heather
Forum Leader - Living Organ Donation
Heather's Blog
EC Illinois, USA
Kidney donor to dad 12/1/99
Rush-Presbyterian-St. Lukes, Chicago
DONATE LIFE |
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LadyDi
Forum Leader
Username: Ladydi
Post Number: 2642
Registered: 03-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, June 30, 2011 - 04:05 pm: |
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Wishing you a happy Anniversary, Becky. Sorry things are still strained with your brother. That's a great comment you made about hoping he comes to peace with his life and body. Maybe he can then recognize what a valuable gift you have given him.
Hope all is well with you and that your health is on the good side.
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Liver Giver
Forum Leader
Username: Beteboop
Post Number: 838
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, July 03, 2011 - 06:59 am: |
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Wishing you a belated Happy Anniversary! I am so sorry that your brother is not able to and celebrate the blessing and gift that you have given him. Your continued enthusiasm about organ donation despite his current outlook only affirms how precious of a person you are. Keep your chin up and your heart open, eventually he may see through the clouds! I pray he is feeling better very soon.
Dawn
Forum Leader Living Organ Donation
Liver Donor 11/19/07 to brother Anthony
Good and bad things happen in life, but what matters, what defines us, is how we handle them |
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