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Username: Ank0130

Post Number: 1
Registered: 08-2011
Posted on Friday, August 12, 2011 - 08:01 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post

I have been with my hubby for almost ten yrs. And we have gone through everything and come through stronger thanks to god. But when it comes to my health and his inability to understand. May just be our breaking point. When I was on dialysis for two years I was very sick and we lost a lot during this time. After I had the transplant I was told life would resume as it was before ... well it hasn't I get constant infections so I am currently on my way to the hospital for the 3rd time just since Jan this yr. And I have no sexual desire. We are constantly fighting because of my inability to be sexual. And he has expressed how unfair I am because he is normal and I'm not and its not fair to him like I'm holding him back from a normal life. And he wouldn't have to live like this if it weren't for me. I don't know what to do I'm not gonna say its all him cause I could be more affectionate but I just want to know is there anyone else out there that has had the same problem and found a solution. I want us to work but its not looking like it will but I hate to walk away after ten yrs. And we have an 8 yr old who will be completely devastated. Please anyone been through the same?
Forum Leader
Username: Gregg

Post Number: 4824
Registered: 03-2008
Posted on Saturday, August 13, 2011 - 01:53 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post

1) Medications can cause problems in this regard.
2)You have not planned to be sick because you really do love him.
3) This is something that both of you are going to have to work on. It will take a lot of communication. This means talking, not arguing, and he has to understand that.
4) You would like to have a normal life just as much as he would.
5) Tell him that you want to stay with him. Tell him that you know that he has made sacrifices for you and you respect him for that. You wish that things could be "normal", too.

Good luck to you!!
There are not too many things in life worth working my butt off for, but my health is one of them

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Hostess Rise'
Board Administrator
Username: Rise

Post Number: 16427
Registered: 05-2003
Posted on Saturday, August 20, 2011 - 11:56 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post

Hi Alisha

Sounds to me from what you have shared that he is either unable or does not want to understand what you are going through and he is blaming you. Well if my husband blamed me I would not want to be intimate either.

Sounds like he is pushing you further away.

If you can get him to go to therapy it would be worth trying to work on the marriage if not, there are always others out there.

Wishing you the BEST!!

P.S. Perhaps make an appointment with your GYN doctor and get examined. If all looks normal then maybe you will have an answer.
CF- dx at 2yrs. 2nd double lung tx-05

Debra Fertel MD- Jackson Memorial
Si Pham MD, Professor of Surgery

Anas Hadeh MD, Cleveland Clinic, Weston

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