Hostess Rise'
Forum Leader
Username: Risa
Post Number: 12506
Registered: 05-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 02, 2010 - 01:08 pm: | 
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Be a You Can Choose Happy
No doubt, there are times in life that are plagued with difficulties, challenges, disappointments, and heartaches. During these times, it is hard to stay positive and happy. For some of you, like me, your backgrounds were ones engulfed in negative experiences. Therefore, much of your outlook in life may be negative. But it doesn't have to be that way!
There are many things that you can do in order to make your present life a happy one. Being a psychologist, I am, of course, a big believer in facing your emotions. I know that for many of you to do so is a scary place to go. However, many of the bad feelings from your past are nothing more than uncomfortable sensations that you stored away from your childhood when you were a child. The initial memory may be uncomfortable but if you will take the time to sit with the feeling, to embrace it, it will go away.
Additionally, there are other tools you can try to help you increase your sense of happiness. Then, the question becomes one of whether you are ready to let go of that old comfortable set of clothes you are wearing, so to speak, and try on the new outfit of being happy. It's your choice!
Choice Tips:
Savor everyday moments. Pause to notice a cloud formation or to watch a child at play. Savoring ordinary events or remembering pleasant moments increases happiness and reduces depression.
Avoid comparisons. Though you tend to make social comparisons as part of being human, to do so is likely to decrease your self- esteem. Instead, focus on your own personal achievement.
Don't make making money high on your list. Research has shown that while money may make things easier, it does not make you happier.
Create meaningful goals for yourself. Happiness will result when you do something that is pleasurable and meaningful for you whether it's at home or at work.
Make friends and stay connected to family. Having close connections to others is important for a sense of happiness and health. (Also, a network such as this is a wonderful support system that buffers stress.)
When you feel down, force yourself to smile. According to the facial feedback theory, your brain reads the muscles in your mouth and since it is smiling, you will start to feel happy.
Become mindful. Being mindful means being more present. By doing deep, slow breathing you can increase your mindfulness which decreases brain activity in areas of anger, anxiety, and depression while increasing activity in areas of enthusiasm and other positive feelings.
Additional Resources I Recommend:
A quick anecdote from the internet that sums it up:
Click here to Read!
On a more serious note, here is an exercise I think will be very helpful called the One-Minute Happiness Shift.:
Here are the three steps:
Step 1: Shift
Shift your attention away from fear-talk to your breathing and your heart. Breathe slowly. Celebrate being alive. Notice, -- your heart is still beating. Continue to breathe and calm yourself for about 30 seconds.
Step 2: Recall
Reflect and relive a positive emotion when you felt peaceful, confident, and secure. Think of a time when you felt genuine love for someone. Let it fill your heart. The memory of this feeling will activate the frontal lobes of your cortex. Do this for 30 seconds.
Step 3: Ask
Ask yourself: What is the highest and best way to handle this situation?" Listen carefully to the wisdom that comes from within. When you take time to quiet yourself with positive emotion, it activates your frontal lobes. This is the brain center for creativity and insight. Trust what comes and do it.
Sometimes it is hard to shift when the mind is very active. There is a difference between thinking and sensing. In the shift, focus on changing from fear-based thinking to quiet sensing. The sensing mind is more observant and notices without inner commentary.
Often we look for answers outside of ourselves that are better found within. The shift up process helps you to gain access to the vast resources of your higher brain. Try it several times a day, and make it a habit. It will help you find your heart's wisdom in solving daily problems.
Empowering Tools and Information:
In the last newsletter, I told you I had some exciting news to share with you. So, here it is: The 2nd edition of Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life has just been released! I can't tell you how excited I am. The reason I wrote a 2nd edition is to add in two new chapters: one is about applying the tools to events that are yet to come, ones that you are anticipating and (drum roll, please) the other chapter is about how to use these tools within relationships!
I felt the latter was especially important because our relationships are so important to all of us yet all too often our old baggage gets in the way of them running smoothly. Well, it doesn't have to be that way any more. This new material will help you handle the reactions that arise and learn how to work through them to create greater connection between the two of you and healing within each of you.
I'm so pleased to be able to offer this tool and to share this news with all of you first. Because you are my loyal readership, I want to make a very special offer to you. For the first 25 people who order the book from me, I will personally consult with you for 10-15 minutes by phone for free after you have read the book regarding any questions you have about it! You have up to one year to redeem this offer. So, go to this link now and order the newest edition of Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life. Don't miss out on this unbelievable offer, get the great tools in the book and an opportunity to speak with me for a customized mini-session.
And, to hear me speak, here are the upcoming radio shows I'm scheduled to do:
The Empowering You Radio Show with host Robin Hardy 4:00 PM (PCT)/ 7:00 (ET) at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/robin-hardy; Call in at 646.727.2918
3/5 Unlimited Success and Fulfillment with host Deborah Hill at 1:00ET. Can be heard at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/intuitivecoach. Call in at (347) 838 - 9831
3/25 The Wellness Roadshow with host Catherine Bradford 2:00 (PCT)/5:00 (ET) in Seattle on 106.9 HD Channel 3. Call in at 1-877- 230-3062
3/29 The JayGrayceLive Radio Show with host Jay Grayce at 12:00 (ET).Go to www.GrayceNYCRadio.com and click listen live icon.
email: drk723@aol.com
web: http://www.choicerelationships.com
Cystic Fibrosis- dx at 2yrs. -2nd double lung tx-05 JMH
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