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TransplantBuddies.org Forums » Liver - Multivisceral » Archive through May 29, 2010 » Archive through December 27, 2009 » having kids while on the list... timing? « Previous Next »
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bob
Member
Username: West_of_rome

Post Number: 2
Registered: 12-2009
Posted on Saturday, December 19, 2009 - 07:06 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post

I'm 31 and waiting for a liver transplant, just got on the list. Have a feeling it's going to be a long wait, mainly because my MELD score is only 12 now and I'm fairly healthy overall. My wife and I want to have kids, but the timing is so bad for this, I see it as my life is temporarily on hold since things are so uncertain. Along with that, some of the meds I am on at the moment have some side effects making having children rather difficult. Just looking for anyone who might have gone through this dilemma or ARE going through it, know someone or even if you just have an opinion on the matter.... my ears are open. Thanks.
Richard Owens
Member
Username: Richardindy

Post Number: 605
Registered: 07-2007
Posted on Saturday, December 19, 2009 - 08:48 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post

Bob,

If I take your Username correctly, you may not be too far from a solution. Are you in GA? If so, you might look into getting listed with Mayo/Jax. They have a very short waiting list. You will have a better opportunity to receive a liver in a short time with such a MELD score..Last I heard, their average wait is less than a month. Usually, that also means your MELD doesn't need to astronomical to get the call. Worth thinking about.

I received my liver from the IU Hospital (Clarian) in Indianapolis. They, too, have a very short wait time--less than a month. My MELD score when I was listed was 23 due to hepatic cancer. I waited 5 days. This was in May 2007. I,too, was in very good condition and am glad I didn't need to wait long.

This would hurry up your transplant and might alter your perceptions of long wait times, etc. in relation to your family planning.

Richard
Kidney Transplant - Aug 30, 1986 - Type One Diabetes

Liver Transplant - May 15, 2007 - Hepatic Carcinoma due to Hepatitis C
bob
Member
Username: West_of_rome

Post Number: 3
Registered: 12-2009
Posted on Saturday, December 19, 2009 - 09:38 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post

Actually my username is in reference to the John Fante book, heh. I'm actually in Illinois.
LindyB
Member
Username: Lindyb

Post Number: 50
Registered: 07-2009
Posted on Sunday, December 20, 2009 - 11:08 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post

Bob,
Welcome to transplant buddies. I hope that someone in your position will chime in soon. My husband is waiting for a liver and his MELD score started out at 12 also. He was diagnosed in January of '08 and his score now is a 22. He was listed in August of '08. He had to quit working in May of this year. Our kids are grown and out of the house so fortunately I haven't had to care for them as well. My opinion on starting a family now, before transplant, would depend on how much help your wife will have if she does have a baby while you are waiting for your transplant. Taking care of someone with this illness is hard work, physically and mentally. The longer the wait, the harder it gets. If you guys have lots of help from family and friends then I say go for it. If not, please don't do it. Your wife is going to need all of her strength to take care of you as you get more sick. Maybe you'll get lucky and get your transplant before you get very sick. I pray that you do.

Make sure you tell your wife that caregivers, like myself, are here for her thru this ordeal. I have gotten so many questions answered on this site and the people are so nice and want to help. I don't know what I would have done without this site.
papillonbleu
Forum Leader
Username: Papillonbleu

Post Number: 1551
Registered: 10-2007
Posted on Sunday, December 20, 2009 - 06:06 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post

Dear Bob,
I am afraid I do not have any advice, but I just want to let you know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that whatever decision that you come to that it will be the best one for your health and future. Best of wishes.
Bobbiejo
Forum Leader-Multivisceral
dx: GERD 1995, gastroparesis 2002, pseudo-obstruction of the bowel 2004
multivisceral transplant, 6 organs, 10/06/05
University of Miami/Jackson Memorial Hospital

Mohan
Member
Username: Mraghavan

Post Number: 21
Registered: 12-2009
Posted on Sunday, December 20, 2009 - 07:20 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post

Bob

I cannot give advice either way on this. Personally, I think that children help a great deal psychologically and emotionally. But, ensuring that one is there for you at the right time is the issue.

One reason is because MELD scores can change rapidly; mine went from 16 to 23 in less than six months.

The next issue is how liver disease effects us emotionally. I had a very traumatic experience, that led to depression. But rather than snapping out of it like I usually do, I went further and further into depression; to the point that I was having hallucinations, nightmares and suicidal thoughts. The hepatology doctors diagnosed that part of this was being caused by hepatic encephalopathy, an end stage symptom that effects almost all liver patients.

Needless to say how something like this would impact your caregiver.
Mohan
Liver Transplant 04/18/2009
University of Colorado Hospital
Diane
Forum Leader
Username: Mary_diane

Post Number: 284
Registered: 02-2009
Posted on Wednesday, December 23, 2009 - 02:12 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post

Hi Bob,

Welcome to Transplant Buddies. I had my liver transplant just over a year ago. I am past child bearing age, but I do think that the answer to your question is a personal one, the one that you and your wife are most comfortable with. But it's helpful to know some of the variables ahead of time to help make that decision.

I got critically sick in a few days so did not have to go on the long wait list. But in many ways I think that emotionally/psychologically during that critical period and the first 3 months of my recovery it was actually harder on my partner, and he was there for my every need. He had very little time to himself, and of course it is a time of huge worry for caregivers, friends and family.

Although we are older than you ( I am 56) I think that having a young child would have been too much for us.

On the other hand there are people on this forum who do have young children and somehow manage anyway, and that huge parental bond and love for their children has such incredible healing powers.

So I think understanding as much as you can about the transplant process (who can truly till they go through it?) and having a strong support network will make your decision a little easier.

Good Luck with your decision
Diane
Liver Transplant Nov 20, 2008
Vancouver General, BC

“Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.”

Albert Schweitzer
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